Unpacking the benefits of slow dating

In an age where instant gratification has become the norm, the realms of romance and relationships have not been immune. From rapid-fire swiping on dating apps to whirlwind romances that might fizzle out as quickly as they ignited, the contemporary dating scene is fast-paced. However, there’s a counter-movement gaining traction: slow dating. Advocates for this approach champion taking things at a deliberate pace, allowing relationships to evolve organically over time. Let’s unpack the benefits of this emerging trend.

1. Establishing a solid foundation

When relationships develop quickly, they often rest on the exhilaration of new love. While infatuation is thrilling, it can cloud judgment and mask potential issues. Slow dating promotes getting to know someone deeply before emotional and physical entanglements complicate matters.

Understanding core values: by taking the time to converse and understand each other, couples can gauge if their core values and life goals align.

Observing consistency: a slower pace allows for observation over time, ensuring a partner’s words match their actions.

2. Reducing burnout and disillusionment

The high-speed dating culture, particularly on apps, can lead to dating burnout. The repetitive cycle of matching, small talk, meeting, and then often realizing it’s not a fit can be exhausting.

Quality over quantity: slow dating encourages meeting fewer people but investing more quality time in getting to know each individual.

Reduced pressure: without the rush, individuals can take the time to introspect and decide what they truly want, reducing the disillusionment that comes from repeated mismatches.

3. Enhancing emotional intimacy

Jumping quickly into relationships can sometimes emphasize physical over emotional intimacy. Slow dating reverses this.

Deep conversations: pacing the relationship provides numerous opportunities for in-depth conversations, leading to a profound emotional connection.

Building trust: trust, a cornerstone of any meaningful relationship, is established over time. Slow dating fosters an environment where trust can grow.

4. Better decision making

When engulfed in the intoxication of a new relationship, decision-making can be impaired. Slow dating allows for a clearer head.

Assessing compatibility: with time, couples can assess true compatibility, beyond the initial chemistry.

Spotting red flags: a slower pace means there’s more time to notice and address potential concerns or red flags in the relationship.

5. Fostering independence

One of the pitfalls of fast-paced dating is the potential for individuals to lose themselves in the relationship.

Maintaining individuality: slow dating allows individuals to maintain their routines, hobbies, and social circles, ensuring they don’t lose their essence.

Balanced dependency: gradual development ensures that dependency grows at a healthy rate, preventing co-dependency issues.

6. Building anticipation

There’s something to be said about the excitement and anticipation that comes from waiting.

Heightened experiences: waiting for major relationship milestones, be it a first kiss, saying “i love you,” or other commitments, can make them even more memorable.

Savoring moments: instead of rushing through relationship stages, couples can savor each step, making the journey as enjoyable as the destination.

7. Encouraging authenticity

Fast-paced dating might inadvertently promote presenting only the best version of oneself, sometimes bordering on pretense.

Genuine interactions: with the pressure off, individuals can be their true selves, ensuring the relationship is built on authenticity.

Reducing performance anxiety: when there’s no rush, individuals don’t feel the need to constantly impress, reducing anxiety and promoting genuine interactions.

8. Building resilience

Slow dating, by its very nature, promotes patience, a key component of resilience.

Handling challenges: couples who have cultivated patience are often better equipped to handle relationship challenges, viewing them as temporary hurdles rather than deal-breakers.

Long-term view: a slower pace promotes a long-term view of the relationship, focusing on lifelong compatibility rather than momentary passion.


Slow dating is not about promoting an outdated or prudish view of relationships. It’s a thoughtful response to the often superficial and fleeting connections of the digital age. By championing depth over breadth, and genuine intimacy over instant gratification, slow dating is a reminder that when it comes to matters of the heart, sometimes the journey is as enriching as the destination. Whether you’re new to the dating scene or recalibrating after previous experiences, considering a slower pace might just be the key to deeper, more meaningful connections.